New Blog

Hello! I am informing you that I will no longer be posting to this blog. I will post to my other blog titled, A Universe With Meaning. If you go there now, you will find lots of things including photos, videos, music, or my thoughts. If you are interested in reading only my thoughts (like this blog), then click the "words" link at the top of the blog.

Real Community

My friends (from CO) and I started a blog. It’s called Real Community. We simply post about life, faith, troubles, etc… We created it for many reasons. One, because we are all now in multiple states, it is hard to stay in touch with each other. This blog helps us do just that. Two, because we are thirsty for something. We are searching for something. We are a part of something bigger than ourselves. We want to share with you what this something is. And three, because we are messed up. We are far from perfect. Yes, we are Christians. No, we don’t have it figured out.

Stuck

I hate this spot more than ever. I’m stuck. I can’t do anything about it. I’m leaning on the strong arm of Christ, but my mind tells me that is not enough. My heart fights. It knows I can be strong through Christ. I am strong through Christ. There will come a time where this spot will hold me no longer.

What Matters?

*(When I say 'you' in this post, I am speaking to myself. You can choose to take whatever you want out of it)

I want you to ask yourself a question... What really matters? What matters in life? What matters to you?

Be honest with yourself. Is it what you intend to matter? Here's how I see it - You say things about faith and love all the time. You talk about who you are or who you are not. You talk about belonging to the Body - the community of believers who love Christ. I can tell that you mean these things when you talk about them. They are rooted deep down in you.

But what confuses me is that you are not always who you say you are (or are not). If you are a new man in Christ, if you are transformed by Him and His love, then let me tell you something: You don't matter. When I say this, I am talking about the very nature of which you live for yourself. Yourself does not matter. If you speak about living for Christ, then give up yourself. Completely. Hold nothing back. Every part of you must be given to Christ (we all know that you can only keep what you freely give). So if you're worried about making a difference, building a positive reputation, making sure that others see you as a good person, you have it all wrong. That doesn't matter. What matters is your true intendedness. Your intendedness to belong to Christ and His Body. Once you learn to freely give all of yourself to this Body and to stop worrying about yourself and your status or reputation, then your actions will begin to support who you say you are. They will begin to show who you are not - You are not your own, you are Christ's. So give yourself away.

Act

God is good.
Everything good is truthful.
Truth begets justice.

I intend nothing else but to live for Christ and to be a part of His Body.

So I must act. Act justly. Act justly for what I believe is true. Act justly for what I believe is good. Act justly for who God is and for the Body that I am a part of.

Ringing

There is a ringing in my head.

I am not sure where it came from or how long it has been there.

I cannot concentrate on what is in front of me.

I can only think about what is to come.


I look around and everything seems irrelevant.

It's as if I am searching for something more.

I look behind and all I see is darkness.

I look ahead and find a small light.


I move forward. I do not look back.

Light draws me in.

Darkness pulls.

Every step gets harder.


I arrive.

The door in front of me is cracked open.

Light from behind is flooding through.

I take a step. The ringing stops.

Thank You

There is a lot on my mind. There always is. I am never able to communicate clearly what exactly is on my mind. A lot has happened and is happening these past four months. More than I can possibly explain. I'm so blessed to be surrounded by people who understand God's love and they can understand me and what is happening without actually understanding. You know who you are but I'm not sure you know how thankful I am for you. And for that I am sorry. I have never been the best at showing my gratitude and I promise I'll genuinely work on it. For now, I'm just so thankful for you in my life.